Wake Me up
by Songfic Misstress
Summary: Bella's turning, set to bring me to life and all the interesting things that take place during it. please R


**Wake me up**

**I now present to you: songfic to "Bring me to life, by Evanescence. **

**One week with Bella, as she is transformed into a vampire and the grisly consequences that follow. This is rated teen! Bella paired with Edward/Jacob, but NO LEMON! Depending on reviews, I may follow up with a prequel, to explain what happened to set this chain of events in motion. By the way, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, any of the characters therein, nor do I own evanescence lyrics, or Amy Lee.**

**Day One**

H_ow can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core_

Being transformed, dying, feeling all of the things that make me human just stop. I can't breath, I can't feel, my eyelids are blinking like mad, giving out my last tears. The only image I can continually grasp is that of Edward standing over me, looking in my eyes, and saying I'll be okay…why do I feel he is lying? Why do I not feel that glow of love when his visage enters my line of sight? Why do my thoughts lead to _him? _I thought that I had finally sorted out that one friendship lost was worth the cost of being with my love for all eternity…I must have been wrong._  
_

_Where I've become so numb._

My pain is growing less, or perhaps I am simply growing used to such torment. I find it easier to wrap this pain under the layers of my past pain; it seems less in comparison. I doubt this will last though; it is too good to be true.

_Without a soul; my spirit sleeping somewhere cold _

I feel so empty inside, alone without that vibrancy that gave me my life… inside I may as well have ice where I once had that irresistible spark that made him love me in the first place._  
_

_Until you find it there and lead it back home._

Now I still find myself wishing that _he_ was here, the one I have not even thought of for so long… I force my mind to stop imagining _him_ freeing me from this anguish. I miss Charlie, I miss school, I miss everything… I want my life back.

My eyes are open but this must be a nightmare, Edward would never do this to me, make me go through such pain. He would not bite me and have Carlisle help, making me feel burning and cold, wild and lucid. Edward is supposed to love me, if he truly did, he would find a way to lessen this pain.

_  
Wake me up inside._

Even when the external pain expires, my entirety is being is enflamed, then frozen, as this poison methodically shuts my system down. I feel exhausted, I need to sleep, yet my veins feel as if they are filled caffeine. Frozen, week old coffee, but still enough to give me jitters that I cannot stop.

_  
I can't wake up  
Wake me up inside._

_Save me _

I force my seized lungs to work and gasp, "Help" but Edward just holds my hands and whispers that it will be okay, that I should try to close my eyes and let it happen.

_  
Call my name and save me from the dark._

My vision goes black, but my eyes are not shut. I want to scream. Edward isn't there any more; I need him. Now I can't hear my heart beat anymore, I am dead.

_  
Wake me up_

My eyes open; I don't remember shutting them, yet they open nonetheless. I am jolted back to life, my heart beating again, though weakly. Carlisle had to shock me back to life; I can't have my heart stop until the end. When I was dead, I wasn't in pain… I want to die

_  
Bid my blood to run _

Carlisle has a scalpel; he is cutting my arm, seeing if I still bleed, seeing how far I am in my transformation. The cut bleeds, not in spurts, nor as profusely as it would for a full human, but still noticeably enough for bandaging to be deemed necessary.

_  
I can't wake up_

I feel and see the blackness creeping into the corners of my vision. I try once again to call to Edward; but am immobilized and mute. I don't die; just pass out.

_  
Before I come undone.  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become._

**Day Two**

_You can't just leave me._

I wake and see the back of my precious Edward, see his head shaking hear his words

"Carlisle, I'm sorry, I just can't take this, I can't stand seeing her like this; in this much pain. I promise I'll be back. I just need a bit of time… I didn't think it would be this bad. I didn't know how she would look being so soulless, like a puppet with the strings cut. I didn't think that she would look at me and gaze through me. I have to leave."

With that, my beloved left me alone, on my own to writhe and scream in agony. I feel no love from or to the person that abandoned me. I lick my lips. The pain has abated for the time being. I croak out to Carlisle for water, I am at least that human still. I am in the middle of his name when I run out of air. My eyes go wide; I cannot breath, I NEED TO BREATH! I WANT TO BE HUMAN! The death full darkness creeps up again.

_  
Breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life._

I think I am waking in Edward's arms, but it Carlisle's lips pressed against mine, making me breathe in and out, giving me life. I try to cry, but all my tears are gone. I feel utter disappointment; Edward has yet to return to me, and need him now more than ever. I lie back down; my thirst is gone. Carlisle words wash over me, something about me almost actually dying from that, my lungs aren't ready… I am not paying attention to their meaning, and I can barely grasp their tone. My mind wanders to _him _again. This time I allow my mind to focus on him and wonder what would have happened if I had made a different choice. This time, when darkness starts to eat away at my dream-like reality, I let it.

_  
Save me_

_Call my name and save me from the dark._

I feel so alone.

_  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run _

Carlisle and his scalpel again, checking me like a piece of meat, perhaps a Thanksgiving turkey. A sliver of a rivulet comes from my arm, it ekes out slowly, lethargically. I still bleed; I'm not done yet. I almost giggle at the absurdity of my train of thought. I am most assuredly going mad._  
_

_I can't wake up_

Why won't this nightmare end?

_  
Before I come undone  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become.  
_

**Day Three**

_Bring me to life._

I feel a burst of energy as glass shatters around me. I feel the cold wind and rain lightly caress my skin, and watch as Carlisle is pummeled by _him_. I feel the hot lips against mine and return their pressure with a fervor I have never dared with Edward. I am given life of two kinds. I am given both the strength and the will needed.

_  
I've been living a lie; there's nothing inside_

I finally realize that I made the wrong choice. So late; far too late for me to change my mind, fix my mistake. I think of Edward and I feel numb at best. At the worst, I think of abandonment, betrayal, and PAIN.

_  
Bring me to life.  
_With this in mind, I do not protest at the warm limbs lifting me, taking me, and holding me as we jump out the window together. I want to be like this forever; I just don't want to have to live forever for that to happen._  
_

"_Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling, only you are the life among the dead. _Jacob, I'm so sorry. I should have known, I shouldn't have gone this far. Jacob… I love you." I can barely say those words; it was all as a whisper. I managed them though, and he heard. He looked at me and was about to respond.

I screamed as I saw the dark shape flicker through the trees.

**Day Four**

"_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see; kept in the dark but you were there in front of me ._I should have know that you weren't over the wolf. I should have never let this happen. Not that it matters, not anymore."

Jacob laid me own on the grass tenderly and faced the vampire._  
_

"Leave her out of this Ed. You are the one that tried to bite her; you are the one to blame. If you aren't man enough to take the blame yourself, then take it out on me. Just leave Bella alone."

"You want her, don't you dog-breath? Hehehe. You can have her if you take me down first. Just be careful what you wish for…"

I watch as the two circle each other, and before I can say anything, I pass out yet again.

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems got to open my eyes to everything._

I feel like the world is fresh. All pain is gone from my limbs. My vision is clear. I feel lighter. I look around and am horror-struck. Blood, so much blood, everywhere around me._  
_

_Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul._

I try to go blank. I don't know whose blood is whose but there are ashes, so Jacob must have won. I feel so desolate and alone when I hear a voice.

"_Don't let me die here. There must be something more." _I look into the eyes

of Jacob, see the pain there, so reminiscent of my own._ "Bring me to life." _He says, without knowing what he means, what I can do. He wrinkles his nose at me… in a mixture of confusion and disgust "You smell like…oh no. That is why he let me have you; we can't be together… You're a vampire…I'm sorry Bella. I was too late…Bella, I lo-" he was cut off by his own hacking. I look at the wounds in his chest and place a finger on his lips.

"I can help. You will not die, but you will have pain. Pain greater than any you have ever felt before. I am sorry for that pain, but I will be with you during the entire thing, I promise." With that, I bite the tender flesh of his shoulders. I feel the warm blood in my mouth, but deny my new instincts, to suck him dry.

**Day Five**

**(Day one for Jacob)**

_Wake me up_

Bella? Where is she? Oh. She is holding my hand, telling me that it will be okay. I believe her; see the truth in her eyes.

_  
Wake me up inside_

I feel so tired. I fought Edward for a long time; I got hurt bad Maybe it's just blood loss. I'll be okay. Bella says so. I wish this didn't hurt so bad, I wish that I could tell Bella that I love her, that I could have her in my arms, rather than the other way around. There is blackness at the edges of my eyes. Bella says to let it get dark; that it's supposed to happen.

_  
I can't wake up_

_  
Wake me up inside.  
Save me  
call my name and save me from the dark._

I wake to Bella calling my name. Despite my pain, I feel guilty for the worried look in her eyes; I know that I caused it. I let the blackness consume me yet again and am okay so far.

**Day Six**

**(Day Two)**

_  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run _

I wake with Bella carrying me. What?! I feel so confused. How are we going this fast, where are we going? I notice that where tree branches are slicing my arms and legs that they are barely bleeding. I also see that where they are hitting Bella, there is no blood at all. She notices that I am awake and starts to speak to me. She's saying something about the Cullens after us. "They don't know what all happened…" She isn't that worried. I let the words wash over me and focus on the tone. The tone tell me that everything will be okay, and I trust in that as the blackness steals over me again.

**Day Seven**

**(Day Three)**_  
I can't wake up_

_Before I come undone._

I can't stand the smell of myself. I realize now what a mistake Bella and I made. I want to tear myself apart. It is only she that stops me. My instincts hate her; my heart and brain love her. My soul loves her; or what is left of my soul at least. The same goes for me. Part of me wants to go die, the other part know that such a wish is pointless. Each side hates the other. I am a circle of hatred, yet I love._  
_

_Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become.  
_Werewolves and Vampires are enemies, now I am part both._  
_

_Bring me to life_

What is the point of this tormented existence?_  
_

_I've been living a lie; there's nothing inside. _

I already know. I love her, and that is point enough, even if I sometimes look at her and feel… nothing

_  
Bring me to life_

I have all of eternity to spend with her too… I think. Life, forever.


End file.
